Being a good lover isn't easy. With more freedom, knowledge, and body awareness, today's woman knows better than to settle for predictable, performance-based sex. Tantric Secrets for Men provides everything a man needs to know to satisfy a woman's physical, emotional, and spiritual yearnings in a sexual relationship-and how to bring himself to new heights of ecstasy in the process.
Employing ancient tantric secrets, Kerry and Diane Riley show how to trans-form sex into passionate lovemaking, pleasure into ecstasy, and partnership into union. Their expert teachings represent a committed couple practicing ecstatic sexuality within the challenges of a modern-day lifestyle. The authors provide couples with practical techniques for making love more frequently, achieving higher and prolonged states of orgasmic intensity, and experiencing lovemaking as a sacred practice. Through their approach, couples will find new ways to satisfy each other on the levels of body, heart, and soul to keep their love and sexual passion alive.
KERRY AND DIANE RILEY are co-creators of the bestselling video The Secrets of Sacred Sex (over 200,000 copies sold). They teach courses worldwide on personal empowerment, sex, love, and relationships, combining contemporary sex therapy with the great traditions of ecstatic sexuality. Kerry and Diane Riley live with their children in Whale Beach, Australia.
Imagine having a partner who says that she couldn't possibly have a bet-ter lover than you, that she can't wait for you to come home each day. Imagine being in a relationship that is exciting, sexy, and emotionally nurturing; being able to make love as long as you want, as many times as you like, at any age, and knowing absolutely that you can satisfy your partner, not just physically but on every level of being-body, heart, and soul.
Imagine continuing to explore and create together fulfilling and profound lovemaking experiences; continuing to grow and bond with greater intimacy, loving feelings, and communication. Imagine feeling more pleasure, with deeper, stronger orgasms, for you and your partner.
Lovemaking that will bring more love, joy, and pleasure into your life is possible.
Held within these pages are secrets and practices that will turn this dream into reality, secrets you will treasure for a lifetime. The secrets I share in this book are not theoretical-they are practices that my wife, Diane, and I have developed through actual experience of working successfully with thousands of people over many years. I am not suggesting that by reading this book you'll never have another problem in your relationship. Diane and I have been married for more than twenty years and we have three children: I know that difficulties will continue to arise! Yet I've also invested many years of my life finding out what it takes to sustain love and sexual passion with the same woman. The old proverb "Blessed is the man who has found his work and one woman to love" rings as true in our lifetimes as it ever has.
This book is for any man of any age who desires to be an extraordinary lover. Any man who knows he can satisfy a woman feels ten feet tall. Much of a man's self-image is tied up with how good he feels he is as a lover. Every man wants to be good in bed. For my father's generation that was relatively easy: you just moved in and out until you felt an explosion of energy. That's all there was to it. The only challenge was in finding a willing partner.
In the 1960s, my older brother's era, everything changed. Men began to realize that their pleasure in sex was magnified when their partner was also experiencing a great amount of pleasure. Men realized that in order to be good lovers they needed to warm up their partner with lots of foreplay. While men were suddenly challenged to bring women to orgasm, there wasn't a lot of pressure to succeed because, throughout the previous two thousand years, women's sexuality had been suppressed. It was common for women to be uncomfortable with their sexuality and to have difficulty reaching orgasm. If orgasm happened, that was great, but if it didn't, it wasn't such a big deal because it was accepted that "good girls don't do it anyway." Love making continued to be mostly about the man's pleasure.
Today, being a good lover is more challenging than it has ever been. Women are on the other side of a sexual revolution. Women today don't simply want sex; they want great sex, which includes emotional as well as physical nourishment. Many men go into lovemaking concerned that they won't be able to meet their partners' needs.
I would suggest that what we must do as self-aware men is work with our partners as teammates in continuing to support and nourish this opening of women's sexuality. One of the best ways we can do this is by becoming extraordinary lovers. The message of Tantric Secrets for Men is powerful and yet simple-truly great sex is much more than just physical contact; it combines sexual pleasure with love and deep intimacy. This book will show you how you can reach heightened states of ecstasy and pleasure together. It contains information that can make any man not just a good lover, but a truly extraordinary and caring lover. And the truth is, that is what every woman yearns for in a man.
So often in lovemaking a woman doesn't ask for what she wants, either because she's not sure of what she wants or she's afraid she will hurt her partner's feelings. Often the man doesn't ask because he's "sup-posed to" know. And we wonder why sexual loving loses its original spark after several years, or even months, with the same partner! Sexual love is the fuel for a passionate relationship. Without this it's like having a car without gas: you have the car but the engine doesn't spark and you can't go anywhere. We can all do with some new fuel in our love lives.
I believe that there is a "new man" in the world today, one who wants to experience sex at its full potential, who desires to make love in such a way that it opens the door to the greatest joy for his loved one and himself and fulfills his deepest yearnings. This new, aware man realizes the importance of learning about love, sex, and relationship. He is strongly conscious of the centrality of these matters in his life, and he wants to learn all there is about love making. Yet there is very little good education available on how to become a good lover. And contrary to what the ego would have us men believe, we are not born naturally great at love making.
I am not talking about intercourse here; anyone can do that. I'm talking about learning how to make love so that you can nourish a woman on every level of her being-body, heart, and soul. I am speaking about making love in such a way that your woman not only experiences levels of physical pleasure beyond anything she has ever known before, but also feels a deep love in her heart and experiences an ecstasy that transcends her sense of time, space, and thought.
The secrets in this book will give you the knowledge and skills to be an extraordinary lover for your partner. Every woman wants her man to know these secrets. Once you know how to nourish a woman on this level your relationship will reach new depths of love and new heights of ecstasy. The benefits of knowing these secrets are not only that you nourish your partner's sexuality better than any other man can, but that you learn how to access higher states of pleasure yourself.
Most men have neglected exploring many aspects of their sexuality with their loved one. In recent years the general focus in sexual relations has been so much on giving women an orgasm that the man's pleasure is often determined by the woman's orgasmic response. A lot of men don't realize this until they learn the secrets of sexual fulfillment and begin to explore, with their partner, higher orgasmic states for themselves. The secrets revealed here are not only about physical pleasure. They will also show you how to open up and feel the love that is in your heart much more deeply while you are making love. Once your partner experiences this heartfelt love she will be more open to making love, she will want to make love more often, and there will be more sexual energy available for both of you.
Very early in my studies I learned a great sexual secret-that it is better to give a woman a little of what she truly wants than a lot of what you think she wants!
By the end of this book you are going to know more about love-making than 98 percent of men on the planet, and the woman you have in your life (or the one you attract to you) will love you for it because you will bring to her the love and pleasure she has always dreamed of. In response, her love and sexual energy toward you will know no bounds!
Some men will think "I already know all there is to know. I have tried all the positions, I know about the clitoris and the G-spot, and I practice oral sex. What more is there?" This attitude is understandable because there has been very little quality education about sexual loving available in our society. Tantric Secrets for Men is about to change that. This book not only explains techniques, it asks you some key questions, such as: Have you explored how much love you can feel while making love? Have you explored going into heightened states of ecstasy, not just during climax but for fifteen-minute periods? Have you experienced using your lovemaking as a devotion, as a spiritual experience? In Tantric Secrets for Men I outline:
How to reach heightened states of ecstasy and pleasure beyond realms you have explored so far.
How to open to love in such a way that your heart opens for your partner and you remember how great it feels to be deeply, passionately "in love."
How to transform your lovemaking into a sacred experience that touches you and your woman on every level of your being.
How to create and sustain a fulfilling relationship in which you keep the magic of love alive.
In the workshops Diane and I conduct I often ask the men: "What do you imagine you will be thinking about at the end of your life?" I guarantee that on your deathbed you won't be thinking about your best day at the office! You will reflect on who you loved and how much love you allowed into your life-including your sexual loving, one of the most intimate interactions you can have with another human being.
No matter what your age, you are about to go on an adventure, a new journey into sexual loving. There is enough fuel in this book to keep you and your partner charged and in love throughout your lives. Enjoy!
Note: In Tantric Secrets for Men I am addressing heterosexual men and women because this is where my experience lies. However, the same principles can be adapted to suit your preference in sexual relationships; many gay couples tell us they benefit immensely from our tantra courses. They will benefit from this book as well.
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